“Dobby Has No Master, Dobby is a Free Elf” | Online Dating Chronicles: Part 8

Hi Everyone!

Here’s the latest installment of my online dating chronicles. If you missed any of the previous installments, click below!

Part 1: It Started One Night At A Bar Named ‘Darling’…

Part 2: The One Where Jen Swiped Right

Part 3: Play The Game, Playa

Part 4: Dipping My Toe In The Water

Part 5: How You Doin’?

Part 6: There’s Something Fishy Going On…

Part 7: Heeere, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy!!!

Most messages that I got were nice messages; I even got a marriage proposal (probably a joke…I think). Out of the 1000 messages, less than 20 were gross, insulting or rude which I think is a pretty good record (98% were nice messages). This is part of what I wrote in my bio:

Probably one of the few girls out there that doesn’t really like flowers…I’d rather be given food 🙂 I love burgers! I may only be 5’3″, but my usual dinner order from A&W (one of my fave fast food places) is a mama burger, teen burger and sweet potato fries (oh, and can’t forget the chipotle mayo!).

One guy made me laugh and wrote, “You probably don’t share your burgers either.” That is correct, sir! Who shares burgers?? Unless you want to try two burgers and you share half of each. One time, after dinner, we went to Richtree Market for dessert and I said to my sister, “I’m too full for a crepe, wanna share two?” lol.

Another guy wrote that there was no way I could eat all of that. If only he knew. Here’s my dinner from the other day. I got two mamas because there was a coupon, but this is all miiiiine!!

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Here was an exchange between me and another guy, we’ll call him Mr. Double Oh Zero:

  • Him: You will likely be on pof for a long time. You read to be clinically insane. Chipotle mayo.
    • Lol, what’s he got against chipotle mayo?
  • Me: Excuse me?!
  • Him: You need to make your self description appealing rather than appalling. Just a suggestion

Well, Mr. Double Oh Zero, 999 other men seemed to like my profile, so I don’t have time for people who think I should be locked up in a mental hospital. Byeeee! BLOCKED. (I do applaud him for using ‘than’ instead of ‘then’). In his bio, he wrote that he liked Judge Judy- does he mean the show or the woman? He also wrote that it should be easy to meet people so there’s obviously something wrong with him and likely something wrong with you too. If all of his openers are like that, then I’m guessing he’ll “likely be on POF for a long time.”

For my profession, I put Blogger & Online Shop Owner. I rarely call someone this, but some asshole messaged me: What do you blog about? Being unemployed? What the actual eff? Was it supposed to be a joke? I see why, at 34, he’s divorced, and his longest relationship was under 1 year. I don’t really understand how he’s divorced and it was under a year. Who would have a whirlwind romance with this guy? He has a PhD which makes sense because he’s a Pretty Huge Dickhead.

There were a few messages saying they’d let me dominate them or they wanted to be my slave boy, but there were more men looking for a submissive and some who “like Asian girls.” Is it because I’m Asian that they think I would be a submissive? Well, then let me tell you, “Dobby has no Master. Dobby is a free elf.”

I was talking to this one guy (cute from his one profile pic) and we exchanged a few messages about likes and dislikes. He mentioned that he’s been asked some weird things and he doesn’t get why “people don’t just have a normal conversation” and that some didn’t even say ‘hi’ or ‘hello.” We were hitting it off talking about movies and shows and then out of the blue, he said he’s more of a dominant man type- very respectful, but likes to take charge behind closed doors. Well…we were having a normal conversation until you sprung that on me. That’s not to say that a guy who likes to be dominant isn’t normal or anything (you do your thing and I’ll do mine), but he just kind of sprung that on me after he said Westworld was good. It would have been better if he just opened with that instead of me wasting about 2 hours (on and off) of exchanging messages. Was he using those 2 hours to see if I was normal? It may have been a bit immature of me, but I blocked him right after that message. Yes, I could’ve just messaged him saying, “that’s not my thing” and hopefully that would’ve been the end of the exchange, but it was just easier to block him. He seemed nice enough and I hope he finds a girl who’s into that.

That concludes my fishing adventures, but come back for the next installment to read about my brief time on OKCupid and Coffee Meets Bagel.

If you have any questions or want to share your experience on dating apps, feel free to email me via the Contact Form or leave a comment below!



*Disclaimer: This blog series is not affiliated or associated with any of the online dating sites/apps mentioned. It is also not meant to discourage any person from using these sites. This was just something I thought would be a fun topic to write about and let you know about my experiences with online dating.